EMO MLASC

Dan Gilbert: Mao, Mao, Mao, How Do You Like Me?

 This is the exact number of fucks I give about the Hornets.

How can this guy manage a check book, let alone an NBA team? Does he ask his accountant to dip into other clients’ funds for his benefit?

Dan Gilbert, King of Comic Sans, is really making a push to top David Kahn for the “Biggest Joke in the NBA” award. He whines and complains about LeBron James leaving Cleveland (Take a look at the Cardinals to understand how a team should react when their biggest name leaves, idjit). Now he runs to Daddy Warbucks when the Lakers get a great player while giving up their entire front court in the process. He even bitches to Stern in an e-mail about how this deal hurts the Cavs in terms of revenue sharing. He doesn’t even mention if the deal is bad for the Hornets, the team he supposedly owns 1/29th of. Guess what, asshat. The Lakers and Rockets own 2/29ths combined. That trumps you.

You’d think this clown knew something about decisions.

Late Night Musings: Captain America Knows the Dodgers

I did not have the pleasure of watching the Dodgers fall to the Phillies tonight. I was too busy watching “Captain America: The First Avenger” for the second time. Why? Because it’s a fantastic movie with fantastic pec-er, I mean, people. Yeah, people is what I mean.

Even the guy with the goggles under his chin is impressed.

But of course, as one who bleeds Dodger blue can attest, the film’s most memorable moment comes at the end, when (SPOILERS, IGNORANT JACKANAPES) Cap is lying in his bed, listening to what I assume is Red Barber detailing a tie ballgame between the Bums and Philadelphia at Ebbets. Cap is no slouch when it comes to detail; he immediately recognizes the game as one he attended in May of 1941 (May 25th, to be precise), a couple of years before he dons his star spangled fatigues.

The specifics of the game, you ask, uninformed reader? The tie game is 4-4 apiece in the sixth, with the bases loaded in favor of Brooklyn. Pete Reiser comes to the plate and hits a whopper to the wall, scoring every runner. The broadcaster can be distinctly heard saying that “Durocher” waves Reiser in from third (Leo Durocher managed Dodgers that season) for an inside-the-park grand slam.

With the modern miracle that is Baseball Reference, this game is not hard to find. You just go to to “Boxes,” select the 1941 season, choose the Brooklyn Dodgers, and run through their games in May before finding the one game against Philly in Flatbush with a final score to fit the bill.

I commend Marvel for their dedication to accuracy; it must have taken a lot of time for the writers to determine just how Cap would know he was not in the same Brooklyn anymore. As far as the story goes, I can think of a few reasons why SHIELD would select this particular game. They likely had months of old radio tape to maintain the charade; this game just happened to be the one he heard when coming to.

All in all, it’s just nice to hear the Dodgers win one.

Late Night Musings

It’s late for me, so shut up. Anyways, I’ve been thinking about the McCourt situation a bit. Much like what Sax said, every time I meet someone in New York and talk sports, the first thing they ask me is, “What’s going on with the Dodgers?” I just sort of shake my head knowingly, grinning and saying, “Yeah, I know, it’s getting crazy.”

This is what has become of me. Instead of talking smack about the Dodgers/Mets, I discuss how the insane owner is driving the team into the ground.

Frank is slowly destroying the team, and he just doesn’t seem to get how much damage he’s doing. Everything and anything he says and does just makes everything worse.

He keeps saying he’s acting in the best interest of the team, which of course is bullshit. You just have to look at his little shell-game ploy; the Dodgers are split into more shell companies than I have fingers on one hand. Even if baseball can somehow wrest the Dodgers from Frank’s clutches, he will try to retain those entities, including revenue from parking and turnstiles. If he really cared about the team, would he try to destroy every possible in-house source of revenue for a new owner? Does that sound like a guy who actually wants the Dodgers to succeed.

Everybody, not just Dodger fans, thinks that Frank needs to just give up. He’s setting a terrible precedent for future owners in any sports league who think they can own a prestigious team to make a few bucks. They know this in LA; they know this in New York. This needs to end now, before things become even more embarrassing for the people who really do care about the Dodgers.

Late Night Musings

Mike Brown is the Lakers’ new head coach? Ugh.

I’m sure Brown is a nice guy, but really? This is the best man for the job? There’s a reason why he couldn’t get a coaching position after the Cavs canned him last year.

I suppose he can manage egos, albeit with some limits. Remember LeBron’s little spat after Cleveland was booted by the Magic?

I hope there’s more to Brown than what the fans have seen. Insiders say it’s a good fit. I’m not sold, nor will I be until the roster is set for the new season.

You’re with me, lockout.

Late Night Musings

I did not ascend into heaven. I really thought all that clean living would have punched me a ticket on the blue line to the afterlife, but alas, it was not to be. Not that I’m complaining. At least I can see Justin Timberlake on SNL. They usually have good stuff for him, though it wouldn’t kill them to use the same amount of energy spent on JT on other hosts. Seriously, Ed Helms got jack squat last week.